💖Tasha & Josh💖
23 November 2024
JM
17:37
Josh
Hello there
T
17:41
Tasha
Hi!!!
17:41
Yay, this is so much easier ☺️
JM
17:42
Josh
I'm a tech nerd so I use most of these apps but most people only want to use garbage messenger
T
17:45
Tasha
I used to have WhatsApp but I deleted it
JM
17:46
Josh
I still have it but I never use it, I don't like that you have to expose your phone number to use it
T
17:46
Tasha
That never bothered me, I can always block people
17:47
I had WhatsApp so my team at work could reach me but since my boss told them not to do that the quickest way was to delete it.
JM
17:48
Josh
I had my identity compromised once so I guess I'm just a little cautious
T
17:48
Tasha
Oh well that makes sense
JM
17:48
Josh
someone tried to buy a BMW under my ssn
T
17:49
Tasha
Oh what that's messed up
JM
17:49
Josh
thank goodness my credit was in the toilet then and it got declined
T
JM
17:51
Josh
I was driving a kia at the time, they picked the wrong identity lol
17:52
Very nice after shower pic on fetlife
T
JM
18:05
Josh
of course, looking good as usual
T
18:10
Tasha
I took that pics 2/3 weeks ago? I usually go through spirts where I'll take a bunch then post here and there. Some of those pics are old lol
JM
18:15
Josh
I never post pics, most of mine are old pics
18:15
just my face lol
18:21
I am particularly fond of your shower pics and where your lying on your bed. Very nice.
T
18:22
Tasha
Nothing wrong with just showing your face.
18:22
I choose the opposite but also hiding my parts.
JM
18:23
Josh
The one where your kind of arched back with your legs crossed. 🔥
T
18:23
Tasha
Mostly all the pics are on my bed lol, I don't have anywhere else to take them.
JM
18:23
Josh
I think that one helped feed the dream.
T
18:23
Tasha
I do want to get a full length mirror and maybe rearrange my room
18:25
But idk if I can bc my bed is a king
JM
T
JM
T
18:27
Tasha
Good!
JM
18:28
Josh
Cute dog too btw
T
18:31
Tasha
Thanks hank, I have 2
18:31
18:31
Hank
JM
18:32
Josh
Is he the goodest boy?
T
18:33
Tasha
18:33
The other one is digee. Digee is 12 and hank is like 8
18:34
Hank is my boy, follows me around everywhere.
18:34
Hanks has incontinence issues so he wears a diaper.
JM
18:35
Josh
Aww, tough getting older 😢
T
18:37
Tasha
He was like that when I got him from animal control
JM
18:37
Josh
I wouldn't mind a dog but I work too much and I can't trust my kids to care for one.
T
18:37
Tasha
I work from home so I have all the time. But I won't be getting more. I had a cat and 3 dogs at one point.
18:38
It's too heart breaking
JM
18:38
Josh
We just have cats now, one died a few months ago the day after his 6th birthday. We found him under the couch after searching for a while.
T
18:39
Tasha
I found my cat dead when I got home from pt back early 2023
😭
JM
JM
18:40
Josh
And I just rescued 3 kittens because the shelter was just going to euthanize them.
T
18:40
Tasha
And had to put my dog down October of the same year
18:41
Oh and I lost my last living grandparent too
JM
18:41
Josh
That's the funeral I had last week. My grandmother.
T
18:41
Tasha
I feel like 2024 was to get over 2023 and I'm hoping 2025 is like glorious
18:42
Oh that's rough, I'm sorry
JM
18:42
Josh
She was suffering so at least she's at peace now.
18:43
She fell and fractured her arm and when she went to the hospital they found cancer throughout her body.
18:43
She was my favorite grandparent
T
18:44
Tasha
That's awful
JM
18:45
Josh
I went to see her twice before she passed. Hard to see them like that but I didn't want to not see her.
T
18:48
Tasha
My mom's dad was the first to pass, I can't even remember what happened, then my dad's dad had a massive heart attack, went into the cath lab and never woke up, my dad's mom passed from dimentia and so did my mom's mom.
18:49
I'm gonna throw this phone out the window lol
JM
18:50
LoL
18:52
My mother's dad died when I was little, I don't even remember him. He had open heart surgery and it went well but he had complications in recovery and was gone.
18:54
My grandmother who just passed was his wife. She lived 38 years alone after he passed. She developed schizophrenia after my grandfather died. She had it rough.
18:55
She lived with my uncle who was a drug addict and verbally abused her to the point she would sleep in the driveway. I hate what she went through and wish I would of had the means to help her more.
18:58
But enough sad talk.
T
19:16
Tasha
In reply to this message
Because the battery sucks and it keeps putting a period where there isn't one.
JM
19:21
My phone now is pretty good, battery lasts all day and so far no issues.
T
19:22
Tasha
It's like 2 yrs old so I guess it's time for a new one?
19:22
Siggghhhhh
JM
19:22
Josh
Maybe a good black friday deal will come up
19:23
In reply to this message
I swear they do that purposely. I've rooted phones to make them last longer because new phone prices are crazy.
T
19:32
Tasha
In reply to this message
I thought I saw Verizon had a trade in thing on TV when I was getting my nails done
19:33
I don't watch regular TV so that's the only way I'd know
JM
19:34
Josh
In reply to this message
LoL, me neither. I run my own Plex server. I never see commercials.
19:35
In reply to this message
Yeah, I just looked at their site and it looks like they have deals on both Apple and Android phones.
T
19:39
I also have an android.
19:39
Just in case that matters
JM
19:40
In reply to this message
It doesn't I just prefer android because it gives the user more control than ios
19:42
In reply to this message
It's just a streaming server that I run from my house. I can add anything to it. I told you I'm a nerd. 😅
19:46
Sometimes you can do the trade in online. I've done that before.
T
19:59
In reply to this message
Last time I walked in there, took both phones home with me and returned my 'old' one the next day
JM
19:59
Josh
In reply to this message
They think they are better than everyone else but when their computer breaks they come to someone like me to fix it. Pshhh
20:01
In reply to this message
Past 2 new phones I got I did everything online. They shipped me the new phone and I had 30 days to ship the old phone. And they covered the return shipping.
T
JM
20:03
Josh
I can't wait for winter to end. I'll have my truck back and hopefully we work out a good schedule. I think things are looking up.
20:07
You see what you got me reading...
20:07
20:07
🤣🤣
T
20:09
Tasha
Winters not even really here 😂
20:09
Oh and rope bondage is different than other types too
JM
20:14
Josh
I'm planning to do a bunch of research. I want to make sure I'm doing things safely.
20:16
In reply to this message
It's close enough, it's been in the 20s a few nights when I get out of work.
T
JM
20:19
Josh
It was only a night or 2. By time you wake up it's already back to 40°-50°. The fun of working overnights.
20:20
I also have to drive in snowstorms. I hate it but ups stops for nothing.
20:21
Even if there's a driving ban UPS is considered essential.
T
JM
20:24
Josh
Because we transport medical supplies mainly.
T
20:26
Tasha
Oh well I guess that's acceptable then
JM
20:28
Josh
We have big contracts with johnson and johnson just to name one.
20:28
Tons of next day air medical kits shipped all over the country.
T
JM
20:31
Josh
Yeah, I can't complain though. I get paid pretty well to just drive a truck.
20:33
So, how's your Saturday been? Other than the phone issues.
20:34
And the headaches 😩
T
20:36
In reply to this message
I have not really don't anything today. I had to rewash all my sheets bc hank leaked on them.
The headache is quiet right now but that could change, I hope not. I'm gonna take a shower soon.
How's your day been?
The headache is quiet right now but that could change, I hope not. I'm gonna take a shower soon.
How's your day been?
JM
20:38
Josh
It was a good day with good company. One of the better days I've had in a while.
❤
T
T
20:45
Tasha
I'll brb gonna take a shower
JM
20:45
Josh
Ok
T
21:13
Tasha
Alright, all clean
JM
21:14
Josh
Nice, in your jammies?
T
21:18
Tasha
Mmhmm, a different pair cause I didn't even get dressed today 😂🤷🏼♀️
JM
21:19
Josh
Me neither, boxers all day. Nothing wrong with that.
T
21:20
Tasha
It too cold in my house to just wear boxers 😂 and I didn't get a pic? 😏
JM
21:25
Josh
Hehe maybe tomorrow, I'll have the entire house to myself.
T
JM
21:31
Josh
Yup, I could be your big spoon. Although you may get poked. 😈
T
21:31
Tasha
I have a lot of suggestive pics on this phone
JM
T
21:32
Tasha
JM
21:34
Josh
Would love to have that in front of me right now!
T
21:35
Tasha
It's a good pic
JM
21:37
Josh
Pull those legs apart and move in for a little kiss. 😏 so sexy!
T
21:38
Tasha
Mmhmm
JM
21:41
Josh
Lay you down and hold you down by your hands above your head with my left hand as I kiss your neck. My right hands fingertips dancing along your skin.
21:45
Barely touching the sensitive skin around your pussy. Just enough to cause you to tremble with anticipation.
T
JM
21:51
Josh
Roll you onto your belly and lift your ass up. Holding your hands behind your back. Your head down in a pillow. You feel my dick pressing against your pussy but not entering.
21:55
A bit more pressure and your lips begin to open to accommodate the tip of my dick.
21:58
I reach around your waist with my right hand and rub your pussy as I continue to slowly press into you. Your hands still being held behind your back.
T
21:58
Tasha
😳😳🥵🥵
JM
22:01
Josh
Your head pushed down into the pillow as you feel me fully inside you.
T
22:03
Tasha
I'd probably cum all over you right then
🤯
JM
JM
22:06
Josh
Our bodies move in perfect harmony as I begin to slightly increase speed, sliding in and out.
T
22:08
Tasha
I wonder how many times you could get me to cum lol
JM
22:09
Josh
Won't know until we try.
T
22:10
Tasha
Truth
22:10
My max prior is 5, just saying
22:10
It's not an easy feat
JM
22:12
Josh
It varies person by person but with my first she had 7, and that was before I started fucking her. I'm out of practice though so I'm probably rusty.
22:15
I wrap my hand around your throat and pull you up to me. Pressing your back against my chest as I continue moving inside you.
T
22:17
Tasha
In reply to this message
I'm not easy to make cum, was actually never a multi orgasm person until I met my former Dom.
JM
22:18
Josh
I'll just need to learn what makes you cum 😏, I'm always up for a challenge.
T
22:25
Tasha
Lol lots of stimulation
JM
22:25
Josh
I let you go and push you back down into the pillow as I lean over you fucking you with strong downward thrusts.
T
22:26
Tasha
One of my fav positions
JM
T
22:31
Tasha
I like to be close
22:32
But I'm fading, idk how your still awake
JM
22:34
Josh
I don't know. I just know I won't be able to sleep until I cum so that's something I need to take care of.
T
22:34
Tasha
Ooooo yes, yes you should do that lol
22:35
I'm going to do that myself and then sleep. I'll ttyt, goodnight.
JM
22:37
Josh
Mmmm, the thought of that alone will get me there.
JM
23:21
Josh
Mission accomplished, goodnight 😴
24 November 2024
JM
08:08
Josh
🌅 Good Morning. I hope you slept well.
T
09:16
Tasha
Good morning
JM
09:25
Josh
How are you feeling this morning?
T
09:37
Tasha
The migraine that won't quit.... 😔
JM
09:39
Josh
I'm sorry 😞
T
09:39
Tasha
In reply to this message
I took more Tylenol and am laying my neck/head on a heating pad.
JM
09:41
Josh
I feel so useless 😪
09:43
I'll let you relax. Message me when you feel better.
T
09:45
Tasha
In reply to this message
Nothing anyone can do.
You don't need to, I'm just lounging and it's not bad enough I can look at my phone
You don't need to, I'm just lounging and it's not bad enough I can look at my phone
JM
09:47
Josh
Ok, I just noticed you saw the secret conversation 🫣
T
09:49
Tasha
In reply to this message
I didn't even know you could do that lol. I'm new to telegram and while I like it better than WhatsApp I don't like that other people can delete entire conversations.
JM
09:50
Josh
Yeah, you can even set burn timers to auto delete messages after a set amount of time.
09:51
But not deleting anything here. Last night I was scrolling through rereading it before I fell asleep.
T
09:52
Tasha
In reply to this message
I don't think that should be 🤷🏼♀️ I think you should be able to delete it on your side but not for other people. It could be a safety thing ya know?
JM
09:57
Josh
Yea, that's understandable. I take screenshots or forward messages to myself where I only have the option of deleting.
09:58
In reply to this message
It's nice because it uses end-to-end device encryption and the messages aren't stored on telegram servers.
09:59
So nobody can see the special pics except for you.
T
10:01
Tasha
I had been talking to someone, met once and he had a tantrum bc I wouldn't go over and sleep with him and in the middle of a not nice convo the entire thing disappeared.
10:02
In reply to this message
Literally don't really care if there's someone looking at the somewhere in India 😂
JM
10:03
In reply to this message
I'm still shy, lol you're the first person I've ever sent pics like that to.
10:06
I mean I feel more comfortable with you each passing day. But sometimes my shyness gets the best of me.
❤
T
T
10:08
Tasha
In reply to this message
Good question - he apparently didn't like that I had boundaries (around communication and sex), said I was rigid and had too many 'rules' but then said I wasn't being monogamous bc I posted pics on fetlife I supposedly took for him (I didn't, they were old pics) and he accused me of having intimate convos with other guys. Mind you this was someone I was talking to for 2 weeks, met once and never had an exclusivity convo.
JM
10:10
Josh
We've only been talking for 7 days. I just looked. Feels like it's been longer to me, in a very good way! I'm starting to feel things I haven't felt in a long long time and we haven't even met yet. And I'm in no rush, I want this to develop in it's own time.
10:13
I frequently think about how our first meeting will go though. Makes my heart race!
❤
T
T
JM
10:18
Best week ever! 🙌 😆
T
JM
10:21
Josh
You don't know how good that makes me feel. I know you apprehensive you are/were? about me.
T
JM
10:54
Josh
Trust me, I completely get it! I'm always bracing for rejection because that's just how it's been for me.
T
11:00
Tasha
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak
JM
11:01
Josh
Well hopefully I can help you to see that you don't need to feel that way about me.
11:06
You make me feel hopeful again! A chance to really be happy. Someone who sees me! (Even though you haven't seen me) I wake up with a smile on my face. And it's only been 7 days! 🤯
11:06
If I'm being too much you can tell me to shut up. 😂
T
JM
11:25
Josh
What are your plans for the day?
T
11:29
Tasha
I don't have any plans today. I woke up with the migraine so that put a damper on things.
JM
T
JM
11:37
Josh
I'm still laying in bed. LoL
T
11:39
🥰
JM
JM
11:47
Josh
🥰
T
11:47
I should work on my car but I don't wanna. LoL
T
11:49
Tasha
Lol so then don't?
JM
11:50
Josh
I like that idea.
T
JM
11:55
Josh
The engine cooler water outlet has a slow leak and needs replacing.
11:56
The original is plastic and I bought an aluminum replacement.
T
JM
12:09
Josh
Yeah, maybe later or tomorrow lol
T
12:16
Tasha
Exactly 😂
JM
12:17
Josh
It's too windy out there anyway. I might get chilly.
T
JM
12:25
Josh
Yeah, I don't like feeling chilly.
T
JM
12:29
Josh
I don't mind the cold. I actually run hot.
12:33
In reply to this message
If your too cold you can always put on more layers but if your too hot you can only take everything off. But then that just makes it even hotter. 😝
T
12:44
Tasha
Lol and I can only take off so much in public
JM
12:45
Josh
Gotta leave something to the imagination. 😈
T
JM
12:58
Josh
You'd probably know what I was thinking just by the way I look at you in public.
T
13:19
Tasha
Oh I would? Why's that? 😏
JM
13:27
Josh
Well if you glanced at me you'd probably catch me staring at your smile, your lips, your body etc etc then when I notice you caught me staring I would probably smile then look away.
13:34
Pass behind you and whisper something in your ear just to watch you squirm. 😈
T
13:58
Tasha
Oooo look at you 😈
13:58
❤🔥
JM
13:58
I got up and dressed, my head feels much better now!
JM
13:58
Josh
I'm glad you are feeling better
T
JM
14:11
Josh
You look comfy
T
14:14
Tasha
I always dress comfy 🤷🏼♀️
14:14
Yoga pants or leggings and a shirt/sweater
JM
14:18
Josh
Like your nails, looks like gold in them?
T
14:23
Tasha
14:23
Dark red with gold foil
14:23
I wasn't ready to go full on Christmas yet 😂
JM
14:26
Josh
Ooh, nice
T
14:28
Tasha
I go every 3 weeks
JM
14:35
Josh
They are beautiful, I love a nice set of nails.
14:40
What do you want for Christmas?
14:53
Meh
T
JM
15:02
I know what I'd like to open on Christmas morning. 😏
15:05
But I never get what I want for Christmas.
T
JM
15:09
Josh
Oh, I think you know.....
T
JM
15:15
Josh
To find you lying naked in bed with strategically placed bows on your body. I tie you down with red ribbons, remove the bows and have my way.
15:18
Eating you out while using a vibrator on you until you can't take it anymore.
15:28
That be the merriest Christmas
15:31
I climb on top of you and stare directly into your eyes. As I slide into you. You try to kiss me but my lips are just out of reach.
T
JM
15:39
Josh
15:41
Getting a little excited over here....
T
16:25
In reply to this message
I need a new watch, what kind is that? Lol and also yes, yes you are.
JM
16:27
Josh
Samsung watch
16:28
Galaxy Watch 5 Pro to be exact.
T
16:29
Tasha
Oh, you have to pay for a line though right?
JM
16:29
Josh
Nope
16:30
Connects through my phone, no extra line
T
JM
16:31
Josh
I got mine right from samsung
16:32
But I have a galaxy phone as well so they work seamlessly together.
16:33
Ordered my phone directly from samsung as well. Got kind of sick of the shops lol
T
16:33
Tasha
In reply to this message
I have a fitbit and a galaxy but both are old and having issue 🙄
JM
16:34
Josh
Understandable, I just bought mine outright. I don't like financing things.
T
16:37
Tasha
In reply to this message
I don't have that option so I buy through Verizon and just add it to my bill. I got this phone last time they had a trade in event going on.
JM
16:39
Josh
What generation galaxy?
T
16:41
Tasha
22 ultra
JM
16:42
Josh
That's a good phone too, surprised it's having issues.
16:43
Probably planned obsolescence to get people to buy new phones.
16:43
I had the Note 20 for 5 years before I upgraded to my current phone
T
16:52
Tasha
I love my notes, had them forever before I switched. I ended up smashing the corner of the screen and had to let it go.
16:52
I haven't done much of anything on it today and it's at 65%
JM
16:53
Josh
Ugh, that's the worst. I still have my note 20 ultra. Just sitting on my desk lol
T
16:53
Tasha
It is, I hate tech sometimes
JM
16:54
Josh
Well without tech we never would have met. So I'm kind of fond of tech at the moment.
T
16:54
Tasha
I also don't have a tablet and my laptops meh
JM
16:56
Josh
What kind of laptop, sometimes they can be upgraded.
16:56
I do that kind of stuff as a hobby.
16:59
My daughter spilled water on her laptop and I had to replace the entire motherboard.
T
17:04
Tasha
In reply to this message
Idk it's a hp, I bought it almost 5 yrs ago and it hasn't worked right out of the box. I tried reformatting it etc, it's stii a pos so I dont use it
JM
17:10
Josh
That stinks
T
17:41
Tasha
It def does
Josh set a new background for this chat
T
18:29
Tasha
That's what you wanna see everytime you open our chat?
JM
18:30
Josh
Until I can see you in person it's all I have LoL
18:32
just wanted to see how it would look as the wallpaper.
T
JM
18:33
Josh
👀
T
18:34
Tasha
You tell me
JM
18:36
Josh
any from behind with you on all fours looking back at the camera or in a mirror?
T
JM
18:40
Josh
yes please
T
18:52
Tasha
I don't have any with my face
JM
19:01
Josh
Why don't you pick one out for me?
T
19:02
Tasha
JM
19:06
Josh
wow, so fucking hot!!
T
JM
19:26
Josh
Absolutely is, I'm so hard right now!!
19:39
Whew! That was fun.. 😏
19:52
🔥
T
T
JM
20:15
Josh
Coming to your pic
T
20:18
Tasha
And I didn't get to see..... 😔
JM
20:18
Josh
T
20:25
Tasha
I wonder how many times you've jerked off to me
JM
20:27
Josh
definitely a few times, I'm sure I will again before I sleep
T
20:29
Tasha
A few times today?
JM
20:29
Josh
2 today
20:34
who knows, maybe I'll get the courage to take a video next time 😜
T
20:36
Tasha
I find that so fucking hot
JM
20:36
Josh
what can I say, you have that effect on me
20:38
I've always had a high sex drive but no one to really share it with 😔
T
20:43
Tasha
20:43
Help you out
JM
20:44
Josh
I want to slide my hand in there so bad right now!
20:46
I wonder if your wet
T
20:46
Tasha
I was just gonna say that if you did you'd find it wet
🍌
JM
JM
20:52
Josh
so hott, are you playing with yourself?
T
JM
21:39
Josh
🤯
T
21:39
Tasha
?
JM
21:40
Josh
that was the best one today, so far
21:40
3 down
T
21:40
Tasha
I also just made myself cum
JM
21:41
Josh
so hott!
T
21:41
Tasha
What were you thinking about?
JM
21:42
Josh
sliding my hand in your pants and kissing you
21:42
pulling your pants off and fucking you
21:43
holding you down while I stared into your eyes
21:44
I was able to capture the moment too 😈
T
21:47
Tasha
In reply to this message
You like that huh, the thought of holding me down while fucking me
JM
21:48
Wasn't easy but I did. 😏
21:51
Are you curious?
T
JM
T
JM
T
21:59
Tasha
I watched it like 10 times 🥵🥵🥵
JM
22:00
Josh
You like it?
22:00
make you feel tingly
22:00
lol
T
22:00
Tasha
Lol I'm still very wet, could just slide it in
JM
T
22:03
Tasha
😏😈
JM
22:03
Josh
Pretty sure I got 1 more in me
22:04
If I'm like this with pictures I'm kinda scared how I'll be in person 😈
T
22:05
Tasha
What do you mean? Lol
JM
22:05
Josh
This is just visual. Once I can smell, hear & taste you. Omg!
T
JM
22:07
Josh
Just thinking about it is making me hard again!
22:08
Driving me crazy 🤪
22:09
So fucking happy you posted that AMA!!!
😁
T
22:09
😂
T
JM
T
22:11
Tasha
Well no, no you can't
22:12
It's uh, small.... 🤦🏼♀️
JM
22:16
Josh
Are you ready?
T
22:18
Tasha
Well look at that
JM
22:19
Josh
Not exactly soft anymore
T
22:19
Tasha
No, no it's not
JM
22:20
Josh
why don't you give it a little kiss
T
22:22
Tasha
A kiss huh? I'd make it disappear 😈
JM
22:23
Josh
oh yeah?
T
JM
22:24
Josh
I would LOVE to experience that magic trick. 😈
22:27
you'll have to show me one of these days
T
22:28
Tasha
It's not magic lol
22:28
Maybe I will
JM
T
22:37
Tasha
I'm inclined to think that's true
22:37
I'm really sleepy so I'm gonna try to sleep. Good night!
JM
22:38
Josh
I'll be right behind you after I cum. Sleep well
25 November 2024
JM
05:09
Josh
You you you....
05:09
🫵
05:10
I just woke up from another dream. 🥵
JM
05:29
Josh
We were both in bed lying on our left sides spooning, I began kissing your neck, reaching under your shirt and playing with your nipples, pinching and pulling on them all while I'm pressing my dick against you. You pull your pants down, I pull my dick out. I slightly lift up your right leg and just slip inside you effortlessly because of how wet you are! You moan and look up at me, I can see in your eyes how much you want me! I move my hand from your breasts to your pussy and begin playing with you while I'm still fucking you. You close your eyes and tilt your head back lost in the pleasure. I kiss you. I begin moving faster inside you. Feeling myself getting closer, feeling you becoming wetter. I wrap my hand around your throat I as I grunt with every movement, you feeling my dick pulsing inside you, swelling up, about to burst! I barely pull out in time and blow my load all over your ass!
JM
05:50
Josh
Now I can't go back to sleep.
JM
06:11
Josh
Still feel this way?
T
JM
T
07:42
Tasha
It is!!
JM
07:57
Josh
Care to join?
T
08:04
Tasha
Uh yea.... Lol
JM
08:18
Josh
Awww, I just finished. Maybe next time. 😜
08:18
❤
T
T
09:17
Tasha
Lol maybe. All dressed already!!
09:18
I just got back from bringing my son to school and a trip to big Y
09:18
Of course they didn't have everything I need 🙄
JM
09:19
Josh
Well I'm not at Big Y soo.... 😉
T
JM
09:27
Josh
In reply to this message
Obviously you didn't get everything you needed, I wasn't there. Wish I was though.
T
JM
09:30
Josh
Wouldn't it be funny if we ran into each other in public though. Perhaps if we weren't so far apart and chance meeting could be possible. I would love that surprise though. 😍
T
09:32
Tasha
It would be for sure but I'm never in attleboro. I used to be when I was in high school. I grew up in northern RI.
JM
09:33
Josh
Yeah, it's a bit of a drive. How long have you been in CT?
09:36
As sappy as this may sound I'd probably make the hour drive just to see you for 15 minutes.
T
JM
T
JM
09:42
Josh
New Bedford, horrible city
T
JM
09:45
Josh
In reply to this message
You wouldn't want to, Southeastern MA. Before I moved there were was a shooting and stabbing outside my apartment.
T
09:47
Tasha
Oh what.... That sounds awful
JM
09:48
Josh
Yeah, I moved to attleboro shortly after that.
T
09:50
Tasha
I was living in Woonsocket with my sister and her fiancee
09:50
Before that was Warwick with an ex
JM
09:51
Josh
Been here ever since. Moved far enough away where people couldn't just pop in. Which was nice. Living with my wife & kids but still painfully alone. I just focused on work and swallowed everything else to keep everyone else happy.
09:51
Jefferson Blvd.
T
09:53
Tasha
I lived near rocky point and before that right off Jefferson I think. It's been so long.
I live a hr and 20 away from mostly everyone except my mom, she lives 30 mins away in Lisbon. I don't really have a relationship with any of my family.
I live a hr and 20 away from mostly everyone except my mom, she lives 30 mins away in Lisbon. I don't really have a relationship with any of my family.
JM
09:55
Josh
I only see family on holidays.
09:57
Yeah I'm sick of pushing everything down and ready to try and be happy.
T
09:59
Tasha
In reply to this message
I flat out refuse depending - I'll actually be alone for Thanksgiving.
JM
10:03
I'm not looking forward to it. Much rather have a quiet meal alone, or share it with a certain person.
T
10:23
Tasha
In reply to this message
This is why, I refuse to do anything I don't want to. I know that sounds bad but there's a lot behind it.
JM
10:29
Josh
In reply to this message
I get it but thinking about you alone just makes me want to give you a big bear hug.
10:29
And it doesn't sound particularly bad, we all have our reasons.
T
10:44
Tasha
In reply to this message
Last year was especially hard and the decision to not go was made morning of so I didn't even get to eat Thanksgiving dinner
JM
10:48
Josh
In reply to this message
You never have to pretend with me, I want honesty. If something is wrong tell me! LoL
T
JM
10:51
Josh
Sorry if I'm repetitive. I'm used to people not listening to me lol
10:58
I can picture you sitting at your desk
11:00
Simply Whisper "I'm hard" in your ear then leave the room. 😈
T
11:02
Tasha
In reply to this message
Well I listen but don't mind repetitive as sometimes my memory isn't the best.
❤
JM
11:03
In reply to this message
I'm not at my desk right now, I'm sitting on my bed, my necks sore so I have my heating pad and I'm comfy.
JM
T
11:24
Tasha
I mean it'd be better if I was laying down lol
11:24
What are you doing?
JM
11:26
But I'm at the doctor with my daughter.
T
11:32
In reply to this message
Everything ok? Is she the older one or younger one? You said you had two but didn't specify lol
JM
11:32
Josh
Oh, some news. I'm probably getting divorced and it looks like it's going to be amicable and she wants to stay in the house until she can afford to move out on her own.
11:33
So I could truly be free soon! 🥳
11:36
In reply to this message
Youngest, she is having an absess removed. I actually have 4 kids. I thought I mentioned that but I guess I didn't. My apologies. Figures my failed attempts at intimacy led to 4 kids. But I love them and they are what have kept me going this long.
11:38
17, 14, 10 & 6 are their ages
11:38
Haven't been intimate since before the youngest was born.
T
11:39
Tasha
Wait hold on..... What......
JM
T
JM
11:41
Josh
Oh, yeah
T
JM
11:41
Josh
LoL yeah
11:42
If this is a problem for you I understand.
11:43
I honestly thought I had said it at some point.
11:45
Literally had to beg for sex and it led to kids, so only gave in when she wanted to get pregnant...
11:46
I'm having a panic attack right now.
11:46
LoL
T
11:50
Tasha
I don't even know what to say, you never told me and now it feels like you hid it..... 2 kids is one thing but 4 of them.... You can't get divorced, she's gonna bankrupt you....
JM
11:56
Josh
In reply to this message
Trust me I wasn't hiding anything. But I understand that you feel that way. Do you want to stop talking with me? We are going to work out everything without attorneys. She doesn't want anything from me.
11:57
We are going to work everything out amicably, she doesn't want to use lawyers but I'll have an attorney look over everything anyway.
11:59
Just tell me if you want to stop talking. I don't! I feel a real connection to you! But I will go away if that's what you want.
12:01
Just know it's not what I want.
12:13
I really thought I told you and now I'm scared I fucked up one of the best things that could have happened to me.
T
12:26
Tasha
Sorry give me a sec, I had a meeting and I have to do some follow up
JM
12:27
Josh
Ok
T
12:48
Tasha
I don't want to stop talking to you but I really feel like you just dropped a bomb and I'm trying really hard not to knee jerk react to it.
12:50
I mean she doesn't even have a job that can support herself let alone 4 kids. That's crazy and really messy. And I don't want to be anyone's reason for any of that. Nor do I want to be blamed if things don't work out.
The whole "she doesn't want anything" doesn't work that way, you know that right.
The whole "she doesn't want anything" doesn't work that way, you know that right.
JM
12:51
Josh
I'm so sorry, I just went through all our previous messages and I never did mention how many kids. I just talked about the youngest and oldest. It wasn't intentional whatsoever.
12:53
In reply to this message
Yeah, I know. I was just repeating what she sent me earlier in a text but I'm going to sit and talk with her later. It's all still up in the air.
12:57
Once I talk to her I think it's going to go back to us staying married just for the convenience of it which is what I wanted to begin with. At least until the kids are older.
12:59
But you are NOT the cause of any of this nor would I ever blame you. I'm an adult and this is 100% on me.
👍
T
13:02
I really feel a connection between us and I want to continue this but I completely understand if you want to cut and run.
T
13:29
Tasha
In reply to this message
Yea so I assumed you had two bc you didn't say otherwise. I know you say it wasn't intentional but it feels that way. Idk how you managed to talk to me all weekend.
13:29
In reply to this message
That's a good idea.... Make sure you text it too, people use that as proof
13:30
In reply to this message
It just makes sense but that's what works for me for various reasons. Shits expensive
13:30
In reply to this message
I don't want to cut and run but that's a lot.... Is there anymore you want to add?
JM
13:31
Josh
There is honestly nothing else.
Oh wait, I don't like raisins.
Oh wait, I don't like raisins.
13:39
In reply to this message
Exactly! Once I get her to see the sense of it I'm sure she'll agree with my idea. She's pretty reasonable. I think a friend or coworker got in her ear.
13:40
In reply to this message
The 2 older ones were out at friends places and the younger ones were with her.
13:46
I will let you know how the conversation goes.
👍
T
13:50
I was literally having a panic attack in the waiting room.
T
14:09
Tasha
In reply to this message
Rent around here for a 2 bedroom is like 1700+/month and that doesn't include anything. Not to mention the cost of food. Does she know what things cost? 🤦🏼♀️
JM
T
14:19
Tasha
In reply to this message
Sounds like she needs a reality check and that needs to stop but that's my opinion obvs.
14:19
In reply to this message
Well you're lucky. I'm a wicked germaphobe and covid made that so much worse for me 😔
JM
14:20
Josh
Daughter is out and I'm headed home, conversation happens soon. LoL
14:22
Part of this arrangement is she will need to contribute.
14:23
If it's a marriage of convenience then the convenience needs to go both ways.
JM
T
14:46
I was being conservative for rent, there's a place down the street from my house that's 2g then there's new ones going up at like 2300 for a 1 bed
14:47
In reply to this message
Absolutely and yes she needs to contribute especially if the end goal is to divorce
JM
T
JM
14:53
Josh
I have a 20yr term and I pay an extra $250 on it every month. So it's higher than it could be.
14:54
In reply to this message
She's had it since birth but they said it was just a birthmark and normal but recently it's been swelling up so they finally acknowledged that something needed to be done.
14:56
I hate doctors sometimes
T
14:57
In reply to this message
Do they even know what it is or did they just decide to cut it open? Smh so do i
14:57
Why are you still talking to me, you need to go lay down before work
JM
14:58
Josh
After all that my adrenaline is still pumping lol, I won't be able to sleep.
15:01
Question. would you ever want to talk on the phone or even through telegram? Only reason I ask is because while I'm driving we could talk. Otherwise you have to wait until I get to stops to respond. If you don't want to it's totally fine.
T
JM
15:12
Josh
In reply to this message
They still aren't sure, she has an appointment with a dermatologist next week.
T
15:18
Tasha
They aren't sure but lanced it anyway? 🤦🏼♀️
JM
15:19
Josh
Yeah, to drain it I guess. I just want her to feel better.
15:20
Dermatologist is at Hasbro so I hope they can finally resolve this.
15:22
But yeah my kids have activities most weekends. I kind of set it up like that so I can relax.
15:24
So I usually have mornings and weekends completely free.
15:24
The teenagers don't want to hang out with old dad anyway. 😂
T
15:33
Tasha
Seems weird to be to lance it before they know, what if it makes it worse? 🤦🏼♀️ Hopefully the derm can figure it out.
Mine doesn't have activities - I haven't found anything that works with our schedule.
Mine doesn't have activities - I haven't found anything that works with our schedule.
JM
15:36
Josh
They put her on antibiotics "just in case"
T
15:37
Tasha
In case to cover their asses 🙄
JM
15:39
Josh
She is feeling better though so it releaved some of the pressure from the fluid buildup.
15:41
It's not easy to figure out activities. The older two just go hang out with their friends. And the younger two usually are with her doing something. An arrangement I set up a while ago because I was getting like no sleep.
T
16:06
In reply to this message
It's not but hopefully it'll get better as he gets older.
Yea you definitely need your sleep
Yea you definitely need your sleep
JM
T
16:50
Tasha
Wth..... And they lanced it 😳😳
JM
16:50
Josh
Yup, I know.
16:51
Off to work for me. 😔
T
16:56
Tasha
In reply to this message
And she's 6? That needs to be cared for very carefully. Poor girl.
JM
16:57
Josh
Just left my house, 40 min commute
16:57
At least it's a short week
17:00
In reply to this message
Yup, every time she uses the restroom she needs to sit in a warm bath.
T
17:01
Tasha
In reply to this message
I don't miss driving to work. I used to drive to Exeter RI from here every day.
JM
17:02
Josh
Me too!
T
17:02
Tasha
In reply to this message
If it even starts to look irritated you need to call - you don't want that to go bad in anyway.
JM
17:05
Josh
You're going to be completely alone on Thanksgiving or you'll have your son?
T
JM
17:08
Josh
I would totally hangout with you. LoL
T
JM
17:13
Josh
Not all day
T
JM
17:23
Actually I have to double check if I have to work Friday I know last year I had it off.
👍
T
17:31
I'm eating at noon then doing nothing after that.
T
JM
17:48
Josh
Well I'll be around to chat.
T
18:09
Tasha
Ok
JM
18:14
Josh
🤣🤣
18:15
My family just canceled on me, no one is coming now.
18:15
Fine with me....
18:16
Whatever
18:27
Well, now I'm doing nothing on Thanksgiving 😂
18:27
I'll just lay in bed all day
T
JM
18:39
Josh
Family sucks that's what
18:41
At my grandmother's funeral they kept asking if I was doing Thanksgiving because I'm the only one with a house.
18:41
My sister was going to be everyone's ride but now she's having car trouble apparently.
18:42
I should have just said no.
18:47
I shouldn't be surprised
18:51
I think they just don't want to make the 45 minute drive. Meh
T
18:52
Tasha
Meh is right
18:53
That's really shitty
JM
18:53
Josh
At least I haven't cooked anything yet. I'll just relax instead.
18:55
In reply to this message
Not the first time they've pulled something like this. The same sister actually called the police on me a few years ago because I wouldn't answer her calls.
18:55
Sent them to my house for a "wellness check"
T
JM
18:56
Josh
You could say that.
18:56
Very toxic, causes problems then plays the victim.
18:57
In reply to this message
I'd have way too much food if I did lol. I might just cook it on the weekend and relax Thursday
18:58
I was talking to other drivers and it looks like friday is a regular work day now. 😔
18:59
But the pay is 2.5x for the day so I guess that's something.
19:00
Got a big fucking turkey too 🤣
T
JM
19:01
Josh
I love ham steak
19:03
So I'll be able to chat all day Thursday
T
19:03
Tasha
Big Y and stop and shop didn't have it. They had big hams but it's just for me. The small hams and ham steaks I can't have cause glutem
JM
19:04
Josh
That stinks
19:04
Celiac?
19:05
I make a mean honey glazed ham steak
19:09
I gotta drive to Warwick now. 😒
T
19:21
Tasha
In reply to this message
Probably but you have to eat gluten for them to test you for it and the last time I ate It i broke out in hives.
JM
T
19:35
Tasha
Oh and I can't have corn, tree nuts and dairy
JM
19:37
Josh
I'll show up on Thanksgiving with a hamsteak 🤣
T
JM
19:38
Josh
Absolutely
T
19:38
Tasha
So almost everything I eat has to be marked gluten free
19:38
If it's not marked it hasn't been tested
JM
19:39
Josh
I'd totally bring you a hamsteak too, you know i would.
19:40
Sucks you couldn't find one
T
19:43
In reply to this message
They had full hams and some small hamsteaks but I can't have that and what they did have didn't say gf
JM
19:48
Josh
How was your day?
T
19:51
Tasha
In reply to this message
My days been ok I guess. Work was fine - there's like no one in so that's challenging
JM
19:58
Josh
I think it's so cool that you work from home.
20:01
I know you don't like your boss though
T
JM
20:08
Josh
In reply to this message
Well in the summer we can do stuff to get us both out of the house. I'd probably never leave my house if I didn't have to work.
T
20:09
Tasha
Well I leave every day to bring my son to school and I used to go to Starbucks but that got expensive.
20:10
I'll shop in store if it's early or later in the day when there's less people
JM
20:10
Josh
I despise shopping
T
20:10
Tasha
Or I'll do store pickup
JM
20:15
Josh
Last time I did a store pickup they substituted some stuff
T
20:15
Tasha
They usually let you know before so you can approve or reject the items
JM
20:20
Josh
They didn't that time, turns out there was a check at the bottom of the page I didn't check which gave them apparent permission to substitute.
T
20:20
Tasha
Oh yea they do that too
JM
20:23
Josh
What are you doing right now?
T
JM
20:25
Josh
Nice, then jammies
T
20:30
Tasha
Yep, shower time
JM
20:31
Josh
👀
T
20:52
Tasha
All clean now lol
JM
20:54
Josh
Mmmmm, I bet you smell fantastic
T
20:57
Tasha
I probably do lol
JM
20:59
Josh
I'm curious, what do you think you'd wear when we first meet? Just something comfy?
T
JM
21:05
Josh
Sounds cute, I like leggings
21:05
What kind of boots?
T
21:08
Tasha
Idk depend on my mood, I have some shorter boots and some knee high
JM
21:09
Josh
I bet you look sexy as fuck in them too
T
21:11
Tasha
In reply to this message
My boots? I guess lol. Idk I used to be all about shoes and dressing up.... Not anymore
JM
21:13
Josh
Nothing wrong with that, from what I've seen you look good in everything you wear, or don't wear 😏
T
JM
21:19
Josh
Yeah, if you have to do it every day it kind of loses it's appeal. Would you ever dress up for me?
T
21:23
Tasha
It definitely does - I would dress up for you if you wanted me to. You'd have to pick out/buy me clothes but I'm ok with that.
JM
21:28
Josh
Oh, so I'd get to pick out stuff? I didn’t think about that
T
JM
21:30
Josh
Maybe one day I'll take you out shopping if you'd be up for that
T
JM
21:36
Josh
I was just going to say that 😅
T
21:37
Tasha
In reply to this message
Better yet we can peruse/purchase from shein and I can try it all on when it comes in
JM
21:38
Josh
That works!
T
21:39
Tasha
In reply to this message
I've shppped from there before and the stuffs not half bad for the price
JM
21:43
Oh, I actually got something for you the other day.
T
21:45
Tasha
In reply to this message
Lol that's true but pretty nice are nice to look at.
What..... You got me something? 🤔
What..... You got me something? 🤔
JM
21:47
Josh
Yeah, nothing crazy. Just something I thought you might like.
T
21:51
Tasha
Oh uh ok
JM
21:52
Josh
Unless you don't want it...
T
JM
21:53
Josh
LoL, call it a Christmas 🎁
T
JM
21:56
Josh
It's close enough and I don't know when I'll see you.
T
JM
21:59
Josh
Well I know you had a shitty few years and everything you do to support yourself and your son. I just wanted to get you something.
22:02
Everyone deserves to feel special. And you make me happy so I wanted to make you feel special.
T
22:04
Tasha
That is all really really REALLY sweet of you and totally not necessary
JM
22:05
Josh
I know it's not necessary, I just wanted to do it
T
JM
22:07
Josh
You've been through shit, I just want to see you smile.
22:07
When you see it you might not be that excited.
T
22:09
Tasha
Lol
22:09
I'm sure I will be
JM
22:15
Josh
I hope so
22:16
I'll bring it when I bring the hamsteak 😂
22:16
Gluten free
T
22:16
Tasha
Funny guy
JM
22:16
Josh
Hehe, I try
T
22:21
Tasha
Alright I'm calling it before I fall asleep on you. I'm going to sleep, have a good night at work. Good night!
JM
22:21
Josh
Sleep well.
❤
T
26 November 2024
JM
Josh set a new background for this chat
JM
05:46
Josh
I just got into bed.
Wanted to say good morning!
I hope you have a great day!
Talk to you later.
Wanted to say good morning!
I hope you have a great day!
Talk to you later.
T
07:01
Tasha
Good morning! I'm just getting out of bed
😘
JM
JM
10:38
Josh
How's your day going so far?
T
10:50
Tasha
It's going ok I guess.
10:50
You slept a bit, I'm surprised your awake
JM
10:51
Josh
About 5 hours, I just woke up
10:53
I hardly ever sleep long
10:54
always a few hours here and there
T
10:54
Tasha
I'm the same, I rarely sleep all night
JM
10:57
Josh
I usually feel ok even though my watch yells at me
T
10:57
Tasha
I tossed and turned last night, I was up a bunch but checked my watch and it was 2am.
JM
10:58
Josh
I hate when that happens, I often am restless and stare at the walls and ceiling trying to sleep
11:00
At 2am I'm headed to Somerville but I wish I was sleeping. Last night was bad. I was nodding off towards the end of my shift. Had to open the windows for cold air to keep me awake.
T
11:01
Tasha
In reply to this message
Well that's what happens when you stay up for almost 24 hours 🤦🏼♀️
JM
11:01
Josh
I should have called out, because of my daughters appointment I was up since 6am and I had to get my oldest from her job.
T
11:02
Tasha
Yea you should have
JM
11:05
Josh
I don't like calling out. Not sure why.
11:06
Last time I remember calling out was when my youngest was born. So over 6 years ago.
T
11:09
Tasha
What happens to that time? It rolls over?
11:09
I lose any sick time at the end of the year and am only allowed to roll over 80 hrs of pto.
JM
11:10
Josh
I have to call and request it to rollover, if not it gets paid out at the end of the year
T
11:10
Tasha
Oh
11:10
I don't get that option
JM
11:11
Josh
I'm looking at your gift right now. Hopefully you don't already have one.
T
11:17
Tasha
You keep teasing me about that lol
11:17
Idk what it is so I can't say if I have one or not
JM
11:18
Josh
🤷🏻♂️
11:19
I'll just have to wait and see
T
11:21
Tasha
Lol that you will
JM
T
11:36
Tasha
You do? 🤔
JM
11:37
Josh
Yup, and not just with gifts
11:38
my touch, my breath, my voice
T
JM
11:41
Josh
Oh you do huh?
11:43
my touch on your skin, my breath on your neck, my voice in your ear.
you can't help but want more
you can't help but want more
T
JM
11:58
Josh
My hands on you, our eyes locked, gently biting your lip. You know exactly what I desire.
12:04
We both tremble with anticipation, staring into each others eyes, the longing, the desire. It's too strong to resist any longer. The slightest touch sending bolts of electricity through our bodies. We can't help but moan with every touch, every breath, every kiss. We are about to crash into each other and get lost! And we don't want to be found!
T
12:16
Tasha
My word 🥵🥵
JM
12:19
Josh
My thoughts exactly! I'm glad you like my writings.
T
12:41
Tasha
I absolutely do
JM
12:43
Josh
Good, because I write them specifically for you.
12:51
I'll tell you though, I'm thinking about you when I write them and every time I'm done I need to cum. The thought of you reading my innermost thoughts. So hot!
T
13:11
Tasha
Odd question
13:11
Can you see my number?
JM
13:14
Josh
Nope
13:15
13:15
That's all I see
13:16
If i added you to my contacts I think you'd be able to see my number but not before then.
T
13:18
Tasha
I have it set to no one but someone told me they could see ir
13:18
Ty
JM
13:19
T
13:20
Tasha
Let me see
13:20
Oh wair
13:20
Now?
13:22
I figured it out. Weird why that did that
13:22
But still don't have anything to hide
13:23
It had exceptions but I never added them.
JM
13:25
Josh
Are you trying to make your number visible to me? LoL
T
13:27
Tasha
I wasn't lol
JM
13:27
Josh
Ok. Wasn't sure what you were trying to accomplish.
13:27
LoL
T
13:28
Tasha
I don't have it visible to anyone so when I was told it was I was confused. It ended up being bc the app somehow added exceptions but idk how it did that
JM
13:30
Josh
I've only had mine set for contacts to see it, but I don't have any contacts lol
T
13:30
Tasha
You don't? Why
JM
13:31
Josh
Now I have 1 contact. LoL
T
13:32
Tasha
You really don't have any
13:32
?
JM
13:34
Josh
I mean some coworkers are listed because I have their numbers but I don't talk to them. I don't consider them as real contacts. Only there because they are in my phone for work.
13:35
The one person I kind of consider a friend let me look....
13:36
I sent him a message Nov 10 and he didn't respond. LoL
13:38
I work at nights and sleep during the day and I don't like public places. So I don't have anyone really.
13:38
Until you that is.
T
13:40
Tasha
Oh look, now I can see you 😂
JM
13:41
Josh
LoL, the creepiness is unintentional
T
13:41
Tasha
I know I'm teasing
JM
13:46
Josh
Oh, now you're teasing...
13:47
Don't start this engine unless you're ready for the ride. 😏
T
13:58
Tasha
Oh yea? 😂😂😂
JM
14:00
Josh
I mean, you don't don't have to ride if you don't want to. I can just drive alone.
T
14:01
Tasha
Oh stop lol
JM
14:01
Josh
You'll just be left wondering....
14:03
I can't believe I sent that video during the weekend. I was definitely feeling a certain way that day.
14:04
🤦🏻♂️
T
JM
14:05
Josh
No regret, I've just never done it before
14:05
I think I came 4 or 5 times that day
14:06
and 3 of them were within an hour LoL
T
JM
14:09
Josh
I'm not uncomfortable about it, I just never felt comfortable enough with anyone to even remotely consider doing that. I'm just surprised with myself. Nothing bad.
T
JM
14:18
Josh
Trust me, It takes allot for me to be vulnerable like that.
14:21
When I was trying to spice things up with my wife before I ultimately gave up. I tried writing stories to her. Not really as detailed but it got the idea across.
14:21
her response was that is wasn't really appropriate and gross
14:22
so I don't share things lightly
T
14:22
Tasha
Her response gives me the ick 😂
JM
14:23
Josh
her response caused me to keep everything bottled up, like I was the problem
T
14:24
Tasha
That's understandable to me
14:24
I get that completely.
JM
14:25
Josh
But now I'm trying to put things out there even though I'm unsure. Not gonna get to where I want if I don't make the leap so to speak.
14:26
And I'm putting myself out there with you but the thought is always lurking if I'm just going to get hurt again...
14:27
But I'm pushing through my apprehension and hoping for real, genuine reciprocation
T
14:30
In reply to this message
Honestly there's always a chance. Somethings work and others don't. As long as we're honest with each other then neither will get too badly hurt.
14:30
In reply to this message
I also feel this, it's so hard for me to keep putting myself out there.
JM
14:39
Josh
I keep saying to myself if it's meant to happen it will happen but at the same time, i don't know how to say it. bracing for the worst. Just the wanting for something real I guess. If it's real everything else will fall into place. It's hard to find someone who wants the same thing. Yeah sex is great but It's way deeper than that. I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point. LoL
T
14:42
Tasha
Your completely right though in all of it and you have every right to want something real. I want it too and am afraid of the same thing.
JM
14:46
Josh
I guess what I'm trying to say is you're making me feel more hopeful. Like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. A chance for something real. But at the same time, I don't know nor do I assume to know how or what you feel. I can only speak for myself.
14:52
I'm not the best at expressing myself but I hope you get the idea. LoL
T
14:53
Tasha
I do have some hope.
Feelings and all of that is a hard thing for me, it takes longer for them to happen bc I've been hurt so many times so I stay pretty guarded for awhile anyway.
Feelings and all of that is a hard thing for me, it takes longer for them to happen bc I've been hurt so many times so I stay pretty guarded for awhile anyway.
JM
14:55
Josh
In reply to this message
Understandable, I try not to overanalyze or overthink things but I don't always succeed.
14:57
Plus we haven't even met yet so I probably sound like a raving lunatic. 🤪
T
15:05
Tasha
In reply to this message
I get it and I want you to be open and talk about it.
I don't want to feel pusher or expected to be the same - and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just want to be honest and transparent with you.
I don't want to feel pusher or expected to be the same - and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just want to be honest and transparent with you.
JM
15:07
Josh
In reply to this message
I'm absolutely not trying to pressure anything. I'm just attempting to express myself. If I came off that way I apologize. Sometimes I just need to stop talking.
T
15:11
Tasha
No I know that your not trying to pressure anything and I want you to express yourself - it was the "idk how you feel".
JM
15:14
Josh
Before I joined the sites I read this quote that basically slapped me in the face.
"Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it."
"Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it."
T
15:18
Tasha
That's a great quote
JM
15:27
Josh
I tried doing the bar scene but hell no! Too expensive and I hated it. LoL
So I downloaded the infamous dating apps which never led to anything whatsoever except people wanting me to send them money. One contacted claiming to be an 18 year old girl who wanted me to breed her so she needed money for the baby. Like WTF! Anyways, Went on reddit and saw the mention of Fetish.com and Fetlife joined them but it was mostly more of the same for me. Stopped opening the apps, barely looked at the sites. Then saw your AMA and looked at your profile and got kind of excited but not expecting anything whatsoever. And shot my shot so to speak.
So I downloaded the infamous dating apps which never led to anything whatsoever except people wanting me to send them money. One contacted claiming to be an 18 year old girl who wanted me to breed her so she needed money for the baby. Like WTF! Anyways, Went on reddit and saw the mention of Fetish.com and Fetlife joined them but it was mostly more of the same for me. Stopped opening the apps, barely looked at the sites. Then saw your AMA and looked at your profile and got kind of excited but not expecting anything whatsoever. And shot my shot so to speak.
T
15:46
Tasha
That sounds awful besides the me part obvs 😂
My history is far too long and not awesome.
I got off the dating apps back in May after some not great experiences and was only on fetlife site until a couple weeks ago when I joined the fet app.
I dated someone from fetlife site for a couple months and he turned out to be crazy - we never were intimate. Then I was talking to someone for a month that never went anywhere so I told him to screw off. And just before you I had talked/met someone once - everything was good until I told him I don't jump into bed with anyone - It got real ugly and I had to block him.
My history is far too long and not awesome.
I got off the dating apps back in May after some not great experiences and was only on fetlife site until a couple weeks ago when I joined the fet app.
I dated someone from fetlife site for a couple months and he turned out to be crazy - we never were intimate. Then I was talking to someone for a month that never went anywhere so I told him to screw off. And just before you I had talked/met someone once - everything was good until I told him I don't jump into bed with anyone - It got real ugly and I had to block him.
JM
15:47
Josh
Yea, everyone wants the instant hookup. Meh
T
15:47
Tasha
He found my boundaries toxic, told me I was argumentative, a feminist, that I have no value that a real man/dom would want.
15:48
And that I'm gonna keep getting the same thing bc I'm damaged
JM
15:48
Josh
Well I'd like to consider myself a man, I think anyway.
15:48
And I am very much into you.
❤
T
T
15:49
Tasha
I think he wanted a woman to just take his breadcrumbs and demands and be happy about it
JM
15:51
Josh
toxic and a feminist because you know what you want, like what!
T
15:52
Tasha
Yep and instead of just saying it wouldn't work out he had to be a flat out asshole
15:53
Nothing is worse than a lying desparate man who will say anything to get what he wants.
15:53
This is why I have boundaries
15:54
And I don't play around with them
15:55
Even that hasn't worked out all the time but 🤷🏼♀️
JM
15:55
Josh
That is what actually what attracted me to your profile. I don't think people really read the profiles.
T
15:55
Tasha
They either don't read em or think I'm kidding
JM
15:55
Josh
I was like oooh, I think I like her.
15:55
LoL
T
15:56
Tasha
Did you Google what cptsd is or do you know?
JM
15:56
Josh
I did
15:56
I had an idea but I still looked it up
T
15:57
Tasha
I'm very very very particular with things. It's like a cross between being neuro divergent/autistic/add
15:58
And it's just the way I am
JM
16:01
Josh
I accepted that about you before I messaged you. I reread your profile probably like 5 times before I finally sent that question.
T
16:04
Tasha
That's one thing with the ex - he thinks I can change things about myself
16:05
What's that saying if you wouldnt be able to change it in 30 seconds you should keep quiet?
JM
16:06
Josh
If you can't change it in 30 seconds you shouldn't mention it. yup
T
16:06
Tasha
Yep
16:06
Lol
16:07
I think it's hard for him to accept bc I wasn't always like this.... Well I was, I just hid it
16:08
I spent my entire life masking until my dynamic ended badly last year and it broke something in my brain.
JM
16:08
Josh
Yeah, hiding yourself sucks. If you can't accept me for me then just don't bother.
16:09
I want you to be you, nothing more nothing less.
T
JM
16:13
Josh
I'm done hiding myself to accommodate others.
16:14
Ugh, I need to get ready for work but I'm so comfortable.
T
JM
16:35
Josh
With every conversation you seem to get more sexy to me. If that makes any sense. 😆
T
16:43
Tasha
I do?
JM
16:51
Josh
Of course, the more I get to know you. The more I learn about you. Yea your guarded but I already think you're pretty awesome.
16:54
I can't really express it well enough lol
17:00
I long for the connection, the intimacy, the admiring glances, the flirting, the laughs, the tears, the midnight passion. Ugh. Not enough words.
T
17:06
As in I haven't had to remind you or have convos about communication etc
17:07
I don't understand some people who say they know how to communicate then don't
JM
17:08
Josh
Without communication things fail.
T
17:12
Tasha
I want to be wanted and told all the time. I don't want breadcrumbs.
JM
17:14
Josh
Have i not expressed that i want you? Lol j/k
T
JM
17:18
Josh
No breadcrumbs here, you will get 100% of me. I am not interested in anyone else. I mean i fall asleep and wake up thinking about you. Send you dumb voice messages at 3am .
17:20
When I feel wanted by the one I want I always want to be with them. ALWAYS
17:22
Did I say "want" too many times?
17:25
I want to be wanted, appreciated, seen, desired....
T
17:33
Tasha
In reply to this message
That is really the sweetest and I did listen to it like 10 times. I forgot to thank you for that. It was nice to wake up to.
JM
17:37
Josh
Trust me, if anything I think you'd get sick of me. Haha
17:41
This is why I stated I don't know if once a week will be enough. And it's not about sex. I'd watch TV or cook dinner with you. Whatever as long as it's with you. YOU are the reason! Not sex or anything else.
17:46
Did I mention I like you?
17:46
Not sure if I made that clear.
17:50
Fuck that douchebag who said no one will ever want you! Grrrrrr, I WANT YOU!
T
JM
17:58
Josh
So, how has your day been?
T
18:14
Tasha
Honestly work has sucked bih
18:14
Big
JM
18:15
Josh
I'm sorry
18:16
Did i make your day better in any way?
T
18:17
Tasha
You did
😁
JM
JM
18:45
Josh
You'll be happy to hear my daughter was her normal 6 year old self today. Running around being a goofball.
T
18:47
Tasha
Oh awesome super happy to hear that
JM
19:41
Josh
So, what are you doing?
T
19:52
Tasha
I just finished eating dinner
19:52
All showered already
JM
19:52
Josh
Nice
T
19:53
Tasha
How's work been?
JM
19:54
Josh
Not bad so far, I'm just getting to Warwick now.
T
19:56
Tasha
From where?
JM
19:56
Josh
Bridgewater
19:59
Then I go to Wilmington, MA
T
19:59
Tasha
Geez
19:59
How big of a truck?
JM
20:00
Josh
53' trailer
T
20:00
Tasha
Holy moly
JM
20:02
Josh
Sometimes I pull doubles, 2 28' trailers connected
20:05
T
20:07
Tasha
I know what doubles are, one of my old friends used to pull for roadway
JM
20:07
Josh
Nice
T
20:07
Tasha
Impressive how you can drive those though. I could never
JM
20:08
Josh
Become second nature after a while
T
JM
20:09
Josh
14 years
T
JM
20:12
Josh
Used to drive in NYC
T
JM
20:13
Josh
Hated it
20:13
LoL
20:14
Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx even Newark, NJ
20:16
So yeah, mystic is easy lol
T
JM
20:19
Josh
But if you ever want to talk while I'm working and I'm not responding here you can call whenever. If I'm driving I may not respond right away. I'm alone in the truck all night.
20:24
Don't feel obligated. Just know I'm around if you wanted to talk.
T
20:24
Tasha
Lol no I know and I will take you up on that. I usually go into my room soon but my son isn't sleeping yet 🙄
20:25
Idk what his issue is lately with going to sleep
JM
20:25
Josh
LoL kids
T
JM
20:26
Josh
They know what they are doing
T
JM
20:33
Josh
"Oh, you want me to sleep? How about no."
T
JM
20:37
Josh
Sheesh
T
20:38
Tasha
Like tf little dude.... Go to sleep.....
🤣
JM
T
20:56
Tasha
I think he's finally sleeping
JM
20:57
Josh
Yay!
JM
21:18
Josh
You all comfy in bed about to sleep?
21:20
I just wanted to say goodnight. I hope you sleep well.
T
21:28
Tasha
I'm still up
21:29
Sorry was looking through of pics
JM
21:29
Josh
No problem, I thought you might have fallen asleep
T
21:32
Tasha
Nope, I'll always say goodnight first
😍
JM
21:32
I was trying to figure out how old my half siblings are
21:35
I don't have a clue lol
21:35
I know my half brothers 33 or will be but I can't figure out the other one
21:36
Oh well 🤷🏼♀️ I guess
21:38
I though she was older than him, now it's gonna bug me
21:39
She is, she's 34
JM
21:40
Josh
You figured it out!
21:40
I just got to Wilmington.
T
21:41
Tasha
I stalked her fb feed and someone mentioned it
21:43
Idk how you drive all night
JM
21:45
Josh
I don't mind it except when I'm tired.
T
21:47
Tasha
I'm tired all the time 😂
21:47
JM
21:48
Josh
You have any idea how cute you are? 🥰
T
21:49
Tasha
No way
JM
21:49
Josh
I would aggressively snuggle you.
21:49
🤣
T
21:50
Tasha
Aggressively snuggle 🤣
JM
21:52
Josh
I like your body pics but your face pics! 🥰 I think your beautiful!
21:53
Inside and out!
21:54
I'll be looking at that pic all night.
T
21:57
Tasha
It's not a bad face I'll give you that
JM
21:58
Josh
Absolutely! I appreciate the pic. Just made my night.
T
JM
22:03
Josh
I hope no one is watching me while I move trailers. They'll think I must really love my job with the big smile I have right now.
❤
T